Never Let Them See That It Gets to You
by The Rogue Lion
Summary: In all the time Judy had known him, Nick had never been one to show his true feelings. Because of this, it was hard to tell when something was wrong. This just meant that when she did notice a problem, it had to be big. She knew what she needed to do; she needed to help her friend.
**Never Let Them See That It Gets to You**

Judy hastily scribbled across the report. Like all the others she had filled out during her time on the force, she filled each section with the necessary information required to process them. Unlike all the others, however, the quality of the handwriting had dropped significantly. Where she had taken the time to dot her I's and cross her T's, Judy had written something that barely resembled words.

In the back of her mind, the bunny knew that this was unacceptable for someone of her caliber and that it wouldn't sit well with Chief Bogo. She could already hear the buffalo shouting her name across the station, demanding for her to see him in his office to discuss the rather pathetic state of her report. Regardless, Judy continued her messy scrawl and felt a surge of relief as she neared the end of her report.

After giving the paper a quick look over for any mistakes—ignoring the poor grammar and horrible spelling—the young police officer glanced at a clock on the wall near her desk. 9:32 PM. Judy cursed, something she rarely ever did; it was just after visiting hours. She anxiously tapped one paw on her knee. She would figure something out.

Judy hardly spared another second before hopping out of her seat, grabbing her keys, phone, wallet and whatever else she might need. With report in hand, she dashed for the police station lobby.

At the front desk, a cheetah was bouncing up and down in his chair as he stared down at the smartphone in his paws. A pair of earphones ran from his ears and to the device. He was far too engrossed in whatever app or video he was looking at to notice Judy approaching him. She slipped the report onto the desk in front of him without breaking her stide and continued towards the exit at a brisk pace.

The cheetah absentmindedly picked up the report and briefly looked at it. His eyes darted to the section titled 'Officer Name' and spotted 'Judy Hopps' filled underneath. He was about to put the report in the stack of finished papers when he noticed the atrocious handwriting. An alarmed expression replaced his usual upbeat smile. The cheetah placed his smartphone on the table and looked around for the officer in question. He spotted the telltale ears of Judy and nearly leapt out of his seat, waving the report in his hand. "Judy!"

Judy's ears flickered to the source of the noise and turned around. "Sorry, Clawhauser. I really need to go!" she shouted back with a sense of urgency in her voice. She turned back towards the doors leading outside.

"Judy, wait! The chief isn't going to be happy about this!"

Without looking back, Judy replied, "I know. I'll deal with it later. I need to get to the hospital!"

Clawhauser looked at the bunny worriedly. "Hospital? Why are you going to the hospi—" Judy was already out the door. The cheetah sighed and sat back down in his chair. Was she going to see Nick? Was that why she was in such a rush to leave and why she had turned in a near illegible report? "I hope they're okay…" he said to no one in particular.

Outside the station, Judy was flipping back and forth between the bus times and the series of text messages she had sent to Nick on her phone. The next bus to the hospital was coming at 9:41 PM. She glanced at the time at the top of her phone. 9:34 PM. She was going to have to wait seven minutes. Then there was travel time. It was going to take at least ten minutes to get there. Judy bit her lip anxiously and opened up the messaging app on her phone.

Her fingers danced across the screen, forming another text to send to Nick. _Are you still at the hospital_ , it read. She waited several moments for a reply, but none came. Just like with the past five texts she had sent to him. Judy continued staring at the screen, hoping that maybe he'd send something.

She barely paid attention to what was in front of her and half tripped over the curb as she crossed the street. The rabbit fumbled with her phone, nearly dropping it as she stumbled. Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest. Right now, her phone was her only way to contact Nick.

Judy looked up and scanned her surroundings. Soon, she arrived at the proper bus stop and sat on a nearby bench. Once more, she checked her text messages to find nothing. She checked the time again. Three minutes until the bus came. Sighing, she stuck the phone into her pocket and waited.

In the silence of the night, Judy couldn't help but think back to what had caused her current state of agitation and worry.

It had been in the late afternoon. She and Nick had been ending another one of their patrols of Savannah Square at one of the local ice cream shops—one suited for smaller mammals, of course. It was a longstanding tradition to get themselves a treat after a successful day. A strawberry ice cream cone for her and a blueberry one for her fox companion.

On their way back to the precinct, Nick had gotten a phone call. Judy had been preoccupied with enjoying the sweet strawberry flavor of her ice cream cone when Nick had shoved his into her empty hand. The rabbit had looked up at the fox in surprise and confusion. "I'm going to the hospital," he had said. Judy had opened her mouth to speak, but Nick had cut her off. "Emergency," was the last thing he had said before he left.

Judy had stood there, attempting to process what had just happened. She didn't know. The canine's face had been unreadable and stoic. Nothing could be gleaned from his words or actions, something Chief Bogo had been unhappy to hear. Nonetheless, the large buffalo had set her to work on reports regarding a minor case from a week back, preventing her from chasing after her partner.

And so here Judy was a few hours later, waiting for the bus to go to the hospital.

Within moments, the bus arrived. Her little reverie had spanned over a few minutes, offering the officer some measure of surprise. Shaking her head, Judy boarded the vehicle and sat in one of the many empty seats. No one else was on the bus at this time.

Judy drummed her fingers on one of the handles attached to the seating anxiously. The streets of Zootopia passed by far too slowly for her taste. Eventually, though, the hospital came into the view and the bunny hopped off the bus at the first chance she got.

The automatic doors of the medical center slid open as Judy approached. She entered the building and looked around, noticing a few animals sitting around. Ignoring them, she walked up the front desk where an uninterested doe was flipping through photos on her phone.

"Excuse me," Judy said, causing the doe to look up lazily. "I'm looking for a—"

"Visiting hours are over," the doe interrupted. She pointed to a sign on the side, tapping on it. "You'll have to come back tomorrow." The female deer returned to her phone.

Not one to take 'no' for an answer, Judy continued, "Ah, but you see, I'm actually here to pick someone up, not to visit." It wasn't a complete lie. "Last name Wilde, species fox."

Sighing loudly, the doe put down her phone and started typing on the computer. "Maria Wilde?" she asked. Did Nick have a sister she didn't know about? Judy nodded, putting these questions out of her head. She figured that there were no other foxes with the last name 'Wilde' and that Nick was likely there. "Third floor, room 304."

"Thank you," Judy said before scampering off towards the elevators. She pressed the call button, causing one of the doors to open. She got in and pushed the button for the third floor. A short 'ding' rang and the doors closed. Once more, Judy took out her phone and checked for any new messages. No notifications. She shoved the device back into her pocket.

The elevator doors opened up, prompting Judy to walk into the hall. It was expectedly empty and the lighting was dim. She turned to the left, following a sign that said 'Rooms 301-324.' In the low light, Judy could make out the number '304' on one of the doors. She placed her hand on the door handle and a well of nervousness rose within the rabbit.

Up until now, Judy hadn't considered that Nick might have not wanted her here at all. If he had, surely he would have told her. But he had said nothing. On the other hand, Judy knew that the fox had a habit of trying to do everything himself, even if it made everything more difficult for him. She bit her lip and pulled on the handle, making a decision.

"Nick?"

The first thing she saw when she opened the door was the familiar green eyes and red fur of her partner. Like most other times, she couldn't figure what he was thinking, but he looked okay. This brought a faint smile to Judy's lips. She swung the rest of the door open in relief, knowing that he was fine. Before she could do anything else, the rabbit noticed another fox—an older looking vixen from the looks of things—laying down on the bed next to where Nick sat. Judy looked from the stranger to her friend quizzically as the ex-con greeted her with an equal amount of confusion.

"Cottontail? What are you doing here?"

The bunny stepped into the room hesitantly. "Earlier you said you had to come to the hospital because of an emergency," Judy explained quietly, not wishing to disturb the slumbering vixen. "I wanted to see if you were okay."

"Yeah, I'm alright," he said a bit too loudly in Judy's opinion. Dumb fox. He was going to wake up the patient. Nick smirked and folded his arms, seemingly unaware of another animal in the room. "You should know by now that I can take care of myself."

Judy frowned and shook her head. "I know. You're a grown up fox now." She looked at the sleeping vixen. "Who's she?" she whispered. "The doe at the front said her name was Maria Wilde. And you should really be more quiet. You're going to wake her."

The smirk Nick had been sporting vanished. In its place was a blank face. "She's my mother, if you must know. And we're not going to wake her up. She's dead," he said frankly.

Judy's ears fell down her back and her arms went limp. She saw a clipboard attached to the end of the bed and picked it up. Her eyes scanned the page.

 _Name: MARIA WILDE_

 _Age: 59_

 _Sex: F_

 _Species: FOX_

 _Status: DECEASED_

 _Cause of Death: HEART ATTACK_

 _Time of Death: 7:48 PM_

A cold shiver went down Judy's spine. Seeing the word 'deceased' in large, capital letters was unsettling. She looked back up at Nick, an overwhelming sense of sadness and sympathy. "Nick, I am so sorry this happened," she choked out, tears threatening to form.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about. It wasn't your fault. And you can stop with the waterworks by the way. These things happen," he said, shrugging.

"What?" Judy said, the tears having disappeared. She didn't understand. "What are you saying? She's your mother! You're not sad?"

"Carrots, please. We foxes," he said, gesturing towards himself, "aren't quite as emotional as you bunnies." Nick saw the incredulous look his partner was giving him and sighed. "It's tragic, yes, but there's nothing I or anyone else can do about it now. There's no sense in crying over something that can't be helped."

Judy shook her head, not wanting to believe that the fox in front of her was the one she had come to know and trust. "Nick, how could you say that? How could—" A memory flooded back to her. One she hadn't thought about in a long time. Words from the very same fox echoed inside her head. _Never let them see that they get to you_. She started at him, causing Nick to quirk an eyebrow.

"Why are you giving me that look?"

"'Never let them see that they get to you,' huh?"

Nick's lips twitched into the smallest of frowns for a fraction of a second before it was gone, like it had never happened at all. "What are you talking about?"

"You're doing it again," Judy said accusingly. Nick was about to say something when the rabbit continued. "You're hiding your feelings. You don't want anyone to see that you're hurting."

"Carrots, don't be ridiculous."

"Nick, it's not okay to just bottle up your emotions! It's okay to express them. If you don't and try to hold it all in, it'll make it a million times worse! It's not healthy."

Still as stone-faced as before, the ex-con sighed. "Like I said earlier, crying over her isn't going to do anything. It's not going to bring her back."

Judy threw her hands up in the air in frustration. "That's not the point! You're hurting, and you need to let it out."

"I'm a grown-up fox now. I think I know what I'm feeling. You need to stop worrying," he said, dismissing her words with a wave of his paw.

"Nick, please," she said, begging now in an attempt to get through to him. "I can understand what you're going through. If one of my parents died, I would be absolutely devastated and I would be crying my eyes out. I—"

"'You understand?'" Nick repeated, venom lacing his voice. He balled his hands into fists. The fox looked at her with a fury she never imagined he could possess. "How could you possibly understand what I'm going through?! You still have both your parents and last time I checked, they aren't going anywhere anytime soon!"

Judy gasped softly, taken back by the sudden burst of emotion. Her heart ached for him, for the pain he was now obviously showing. She raised a paw towards him and opened her mouth to say something, but Nick continued his tirade.

"She was all I had left! My dad died when I was five and I promised him that I would take care of her!" He brought up his hands up to his head and pulled at his orange fur. He buried his face into the white sheets of the bed. "God, I'm such an idiot! If I was just there a few minutes earlier, I could have done something! I let him down…Now they're both gone and I don't have anyone left."

Judy watched Nick shake and approached him. She placed a hand on his shoulder and could make out sobs muffled by the sheets. "Oh, Nick," she said gently. "That's not true. I'm still here for you and you don't have to do this alone. I'm your friend and I promise you that we can get through this together. You just need to open up and let me help you."

The rabbit rubbed his back in an attempt to comfort him. He gradually stopped shaking and she could no longer hear him crying. Almost a minute later, Nick raised his head and looked up at her with red, puffy eyes. "You promise, Carrots?"

She gave him a glad smile. "I promise."

Nick pulled her into a close embrace, surprising her."Thank you, Judy."

"You're welcome, Nick."

* * *

 **My favorite part of the movie, hands down, was when Nick gave his background story. I seem to have an interesting infatuation with his mother, especially since she never came up again. Sadly though, I ended up killing her off in this one. However, if I do go ahead with the other Zootopia story I have planned (one much longer), she will be very much alive in that one. As for when this story might come, I have no idea. Until then, all I have for the Zootopia fandom is this story.**


End file.
